Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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