So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
