Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
