How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
