2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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