I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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