he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
