its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
