How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
