Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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