found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
