Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found puke in my bra..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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