very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
