i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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