I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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