I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
