Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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