You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
