the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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