WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
