i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
