you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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