i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
