Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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