i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
