i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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