also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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