you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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