Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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