the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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