Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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