If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest