is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
