I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
