Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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