You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
