Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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