you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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