i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
