U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize