We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
