ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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