You work out of a Hotel?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
