you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
