Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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