I just gift wrapped bread.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
