How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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