I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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