They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
