then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
