Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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