Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
