I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize