we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
