everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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