we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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